The Case of the Mystery
by ACT II
Summary: Having a Welcoming party at DeDeDe's castle, the Smashers soon go on a quest for an evil deed doer, simultaniously being the target of a dark force. Will they figure out the truth combining the horror of it all? FINISHED
1. The Mysteriousness Begins

So here's a new story and stuff.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own things.

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**The Case Of The Mystery**

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"I'm bored," sighed Link.

Lucas opened his mouth to say something, holding his breath for a moment, couldn't think of anything and eventually passed out on the floor from not breathing.

"We can have a stranger fight!" Peach suggested, picking up a random person walking by she never saw before in her life.

Link, Peach, and Lucas ducked for cover and ran by screaming a war cry while ruthlessly bombing each other and giggled while throwing strangers at each other and having fun.

"No let's play seven decades in heaven!" screamed Ike. He stuffed Bowser and Jigglypuff into a closet with a plunger.

"This is so fun, I wonder what they're doing in there?" Fox said.

"In seven decades they will come out old, married with nine children, four cats and one and a half dogs…" Ike stated.

"I'm going to eat the dog when they come out…" Peach giggled, "I CAN'T WAIT."

She ran in and sounds of horror were heard as the door rattled and random explosions were inevitably happening inside.

Peach came out eating the last of Bowser and some French fries.

"YOU SICK FREAK HOW COULD YOU EAT THOSE FRENCH FRIES?" screamed Mario, screaming in a screamy way.

"I have an idea…" began Lucas.

Later…

* * *

All the Smashers were lined up single file standing in front of King DeDeDe's castle. It had been relocated near the mansion.

"Why didn't you want to use my idea?" whined Lucas.

The penguin opened the door to the cheer of the crowd, "SURPRISE! HAPPY WELCOMING PARTY!"

The Smashers trampled DeDeDe to get inside.

The Penguin painfully crawled into the den to find them enjoying the welcoming pie.

"Mmm you should try this," Zelda said to him. He reached for the last slice but Bowser took it, "Why didn't you try it? You don't have to be bitter about it…"

"Yeah, we're doing this for you." Said a slightly offended Ike.

That night…

Then after partying and fun stuff Marth stopped.

Everyone stopped to see him staring at a table, motionless.

"… Who didn't completely eat their pie?" asked Marth and turned around.

Everyone gasped. There was the blueberry pie, half eaten.

Sadly they were playing hot potato and Marth was holding it.

He ran off screaming with steam coming from his hands.

"We must figure out who did such a horrible deed!" declared Mario.

"I'll give a big reward to whoever figures this out." DeDeDe stated,

Suddenly the sound of glass shattering was heard.

Fox and Peach went into the hall to find the windows lining one side were broken.

Turning around they saw the room empty as everyone had left to find the culprit.

Peach went back into the hall to see a balloon rabbit, on two legs with a carrot and cast in reflective chrome color.

She tripped and screamed as it raised its carrot threateningly over her.

It stepped on a shard of glass and popped.

"Whatever…" Fox said.

Fox and Peach then started doing high-tech and cool CSI-type inspection and analysis on the pie with 'My First Crime Scene Investigation Fun Kit©' by Fischer-Price®.

Inside was a Glock handgun and a Beretta handgun.

"Italian guns PWN German guns," Fox said, sticking his tongue out, taking the Beretta gun.

"SHUT UP I HATE YOU!" Peach said, taking the other.

Fox dressed in his dark color form while Peach put on her skirt from Mario Golf.

"I am so sexy…" Peach said, putting the tip of her finger in her mouth to be sexy, then bit it off and ate it.

They went their separate ways.

Snake walked down the empty hall, the lights slowly dimmed off. He lit a lighter to find himself in an alley.

He walked down it in the howling wind mixed with the faint sound of a World War II siren.

A squeaky wheelchair rolled up to him, empty. Snake pushed it away and walked further down the long and winding alley.

He then reached the end, turning around a metallic rabbit half his size had stabbed him with its chrome carrot, another did the same, then another.

Attempting to reach for his gun, Snake died from being killed to death by stabbing carrots as his liter blew out.

Snake then awoke in a room, "WTF?"

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The balloon rabbits are real, they are 'art' by someone named Jeff Koons if you wanted to know and look up.

REVIEW OR YEAH.


	2. The Mysteriousness Continues

See this story wasn't dead!

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Peach nervously shot at the metallic balloon rabbits while screaming.

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Peach then awoke from her crack-induced hallucination.

"… I mean I don't do drugs 'cause I'm cool!" Peach blurted out.

"You never said anything before this," Fox pointed out.

"So anyway, right everyone left to find the psycho who didn't finish their pie and should be put to death by guillotine, lethal injection, and a baby horse eating his face off while he's tied down." Peach spoke,

Peach spoke again, though no coherent words came out or forth.

Snake brushed himself off, moments ago he had said, "WTF?" After waking from his glue-sniffing coma and saw it was day.

"So what did you find?" Peach asked from the comfort of a luxurious bed.

"I ate the pie…" Fox confessed.

"Than I guess the mystery is solved!" Peach said, giving her gun to a child at a children's orphanage out of kindheartedness.

Fox noticed a small spider run near his direction, screaming in terror Fox aimed at it with shaking hands, then shot himself instead to end the horror.

Peach hopped–skip out of the room.

* * *

King DeDeDe went through a secret passage and stopped a control panel.

Inserting the keys, he simultaneously turned them.

In the basement a high-tech coffin's seal unlocked and cryogenic mist wafted out.

Scary otherworldly raging roars came from the coffin as the coffin cover was obliterated and the thing began to tear apart the room.

It wore itself out and died.

But there was another being inside that left.

DeDeDe turned around to find a gun in his face, so close that it was lodged in his eye.

"What did that do?" asked Snake.

"I released my 13:15:20:8:5:18 prototype! That's it." He explained,

"Oh… 'K," Snake replied and casually walked away.

* * *

Sonic began walking up some stairs to the second floor.

A silhouette came up and stabbed him with an overly large-sized butcher knife.

Sonic stumbled down the stairs, at the bottom he stumbled backwards some more out the front door, then stumbled down the outside steps.

At the end of the stairs he fell into a basement door and stumbled down it's stairs.

At the very bottom Sonic lied with his limbs in weird positions. He looked around; a rabbit came out of its hole and sniffed him. Sonic sighed in relief.

The rabbit bit his shoe and dragged the screaming and injured easy pray into the hole.

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Yoshi and Pichu were in a room. Pichu had repeated the word cookie over and over while jumping up and down for a while now.

"SHUT UP I HATE COOKIEZ." Stated and yelled Yoshi out of hurt/comfort,

"You want to say that again mo' fo'?" Pichu asked, whipping out a switchblade and pressing it to his neck.

"But-" Yoshi began.

Pichu slit his throat. He died because he put it up to his own throat though.

Yoshi opened a closet and found a vast collection of toasted cheese sandwiches, "This is awesome! I'm like a toasted cheese sandwich-o-phile!"

"Ugh toasted cheese sandwich-o-philes are sick, I hope they burn in hell…" Zelda exclaimed, appearing in the room.

"SHUT UP," screamed Yoshi, pressing a slice to his nose and inhaling deeply then letting out a creepy sigh.

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Ike snuck through the hall, a conveniently silhouetted figure holding a giant knife came by. He dove into a staircase under the second floor stairs leading to the basement.

He decided to go down into the cellar, it's door near the basement's.

Ike saw the steal coffin, a digital countdown on the side. Before he could move a wall slid in front of it.

A laser beam appeared, it moved toward him. Ike ducked, four appeared, at different angles, as they sped at him Ike jumped through a space in between two lasers.

A 3D grid of lasers appeared all around him, taking up the entire room.

Suddenly the darkness came, Ike flicked a light switch and the room was now covered in rust; the lasers were rusty ribbon wire entangled with barbwire.

The spiked wires were being pulled along in a loop through each wall while rotating, electricity coercing through it.

Ike crawled to the other end, "HA! Your booby trap cannot beat me!" Ike laughed.

* * *

Ike had been standing there, high off of some paint fumes from a nearby can of paint.

The first single laser decapitated him.

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THIS ISN'T ONE OF THOSE TYPICAL "THEY ALL DIE AND YEAH" FICS! Review maybe?


	3. Philosophicus

Here?

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Everyone was in the living room doing living room-esque shenanigans.

Zelda was doing hi-jinx and was ostracized because of it.

Zelda ventured down into the cellar.

A scream pierced the air. Link looked up, and then turned on the TV.

Another scream was heard.

Pit looked annoyed, as a cat was on him, "I have cat on me!"

Link continued to watch the television.

Pit got up and angrily left.

Going into the basement the angel saw Zelda faint in a cliché way. Pit ran over and held her up by her lower waist as she hung limp.

Pit turned the rag doll-like Zelda over, then accidentally dropped her in a slapstick way, "Uh… Oops…" he nudged her head with his foot, then dragged her up the stairs by the ankle.

On the way out Pit closed the door on her head a few times.

"I found this- I mean Zelda," Pit said, holding her up by the ankle.

Pit hadn't entered the castle yet.

Pit went in.

"I found this- I mean Zelda! Nuts…" Pit restated,

"Huh," Fox and Pichu both replied as they hadn't officially died and weren't dead.

Jigglypuff and Luigi somehow knew where Pit went and went there to investigate.

"So why did she faint or die or whatever?" Jigglypuff asked.

"But first…" Luigi slyly spoke.

The two then made out.

"I wonder why they haven't come back yet…" Peach asked before having a vision.

* * *

Two owls, one black and the other white, were on a tree branch. 

A leopard and wolf were then shown.

"You are the one savior," A magical voice spoke.

* * *

Peach then awoke. 

"What happened? Why were you staring at the wall drooling?" Link asked,

"NOTHING! I almost had a stroke! Yeah! That was all," Peach nervously replied and left.

"Oh," Link monotonously said.

"So do you think the pie-unfinisher is one of us?" Pikachu asked Yoshi.

"Sure why not its not like I haven't done the same before." Yoshi replied,

Pikachu stared in shock as a mob of Smashers chased him with pitchforks and mops.

Yoshi screamed as Samus held him off the ground with a mop to his neck, "MAYBE WE SHOULD DO THE SAME THING YOU DID AND LEAVE YOU HALF EATEN ON SOME FURNITURE AND SEE HOW IT FEELZ."

"WAIT I HAVE A BETTER IDEA!" screamed Mario, lowering his lethal injection-filled water balloon, "We can use him to help catch the real monster like as a consultant."

Yoshi was in a straitjacket at a table, the overhead light made everything outside it pitch-black.

"We're going to go investigate… something… yeah," Samus said as she and Snake left awkwardly.

Falco sat down on the other side of the table.

They stared eye to eye for an intense moment.

"… Now what?" Falco asked.

"I don't know. Do consultation-related things?" Yoshi replied.

Peach, the main character hence the savior title, walked with a strut only a true character a story revolves around can have.

Entering the interrogation room Peach saw a bag and an open umbrella, then snapped out of her hallucination and realized they were Yoshi and Falco.

"Weirdz…" Peach muttered and put a shotgun barrel into her mouth…

* * *

Snake and Samus entered the basement. 

They walked around the laser trap.

They went over to the coffin, "What does this countdown mean?" Samus asked, "I SAID WHAT DOES IT MEAN."

"I DON'T KNOW!" screamed back Snake.

* * *

… and ate it in a few bites. She set her Carmel-drenched shotgun bag aside. 

"STOP ALL PRESENT. IT IS I, THE SAVOIR, TO LEAD YOU ALL TO THE LIGHT AND THE REAL GOAL." Peach declared,

"This better not be another one of your cults planning on taking over the world with ancient virus-insect type things." Mario said.

"NO ALL PRESENT. I, THE SAVOIR, WHO IS THE MAIN CHARACTER FOR 100 PERCENT SURE, WILL LEAD EVERYONE TO THE SOLUTION OF THIS MYSTERIOUS MYSTERY. YEAH." Peach declared,

"I don't get it." Bowser said,

"TRY TO GET IT. I, THE SAVOIR," Peach declared to Bowser.

"No I don't either." Added Kirby,

"JUST FOLLOW ME THEN," She declared and left.

They followed her into a room.

"It's been like one minute, what are we doing here?" Link asked.

"SILENCE. Do not defy The Savoir of The Mystery©!" Peach screamed, slapping Link hard across the face.

The countdown on the coffin was in it's last few minutes.

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Read, Review, and Read again. 

Comment on this?


	4. The Mysteriousness Ends

This is the final chapter! By now no one remembers anything from the previous chapters! But I wanted to finish it anyway.

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Peach led the Smashers into the entrance hall. Someone snuck into a closet at the last second, "I'll go investigate this!"

Opening the closet a polar bear came out and attacked Peach.

Peach died.

"AH! I thought she was The Savoir of The Mystery©!" cried Pit.

"Now who will lead us to the conclusion… if she was telling the truth?" asked Pikachu.

Link, unfazed, left the entrance hall into a lounge. He stared at a painting for a long time, then searched a nearby sofa for loose change, "Federal notes, federal notes…" chanted Link hopefully, then went into a vision.

* * *

Peach was in front of a black backdrop,

"A word is dead

When it is said,

Some say.

I say it just

Begins to live

That day."

Link then found himself in an all-blue colored room with blue lights. He was sitting in a chair; two others and a coffee table were across from him.

In the other two seats were Toad and Sonic. On the table was the blueberry pie slice, the floor had a modern art styled pattern of pies.

"Is this, like, the pie room?" Link joked, snickering uncontrollably.

"Link. I have answers." Toad stated,

Link continued to snicker.

"I SAID I HAVE ANSWERS," Toad yelled, calling attendance to Link immediately.

"Are you Sonic?" Link asked.

"Duh?" Sonic replied, annoyed,

The shadow of a rabbit floated across them.

"Are you the pie slice?" he asked.

Pie doesn't talk.

"Link, Pie doesn't talk. That was one of the answers," Toad said.

"Who killed you or something?" Link asked Sonic.

"My name is" the sound of the scary voice resonating from the pie sent Link hiding behind the chair and peering at the dessert, "And I will kill again. Ike died but I didn't do it." A giant fork crashed through the roof.

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Link woke up, then screamed as he was suffocating from his head being stuck in between cushions.

"Pie doesn't talk!" Link stated excitedly as he reentered the room with the others in it.

"We already knew that." Pikachu said,

"Yeah well some people like me didn't know this information, jerk," Spoke Lucas.

"I had a vision; I was in this room that I think represented the pie. Sonic was there because I guess he got killed. Kind of Ike too I think? Toad said what I first said, then there were other things and a killer will kill again or something." Link added,

"Why aren't psychic people getting this?" Ness asked angrily.

Then an evacuation siren sounded and the ground shook.

A knock came from the front door.

"Who is it?" Pit asked. The knocks came harder, "I SAID WHO IS IT. Fine come in! Loser…"

Daisy walked in with a bag in one hand and a log in the other.

"Hey sorry I'm too days late for the party but I brought cherry pie! How's it going?" Daisy asked happily.

"Three people are dead and some mystical crap is happening." Fox said,

"Oh really?" laughed Daisy.

Later…

DeDeDe came down the stairs and observed the scene before him.

Everyone was eating pie again.

Link came into the room, "I know who did it! Before the party Peach ate a dog, and some French-fries! Mario thought it was horrible that she ate French fries… the cellar and the rabbit hole… the numbers 18, 15, and 2! Marth had steam come from his hands from holding the hot potato too long. That symbolizes his guiltiness! The shattered glass at the beginning, that symbolizes his failed plans!" Link screamed, pointing an accusing finger of justice at the culprit.

"C'mon why don't you have some pie?" asked Pit to Marth.

"Uh… FINE! I didn't finish off the pie…" confessed Marth, "I don't like blueberry pie. So I only ate half, then sneakily set it down somewhere. Later on I'd point out the slice so no one would suspect me…" He then broke down crying.

"Oh. I thought it was me…" Link spoke, lowering his finger from his face.

"Well. Since Marth figured out the mystery he gets the reward!" DeDeDe cheered, "Your prize is-"

The count down on the coffin in the basement reached zero and the castle blew up.

* * *

Seventeen years later, Kirby is now a corporate master and secretly does street stuff.

"So what is this meeting about?" asked a businessman at the table.

"Well," began Kirby. Suddenly a giant ham attacked the city.

**THE END **

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Ooh what did that last scene symbolise? Probably nothing. Or maybe? No. Or just maybe? Review.


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